In June of 1993 I graduated from high school in Ontario. I had a fantastic job lined up at a unionized factory in the town I lived near. My grandpa had worked there for years and this was my way into a job that paid quite a bit more than the average 19 year old kid was making at the time.
As the summer days passed, my friends were preparing for September which would bring excitement as they readied for college, university and military endeavors. Meanwhile, I had no plan. I had done exceptionally well in high school. Great grades in every area, yet I lacked direction.
Meanwhile, my girlfriend of the last 18 months had become more serious about our relationship than I was prepared for. I made a plan. I would take a “trip” to Vancouver in September to visit friends I hadn’t seen in years. I had lived in BC during the late 80’s and was still in touch with my closest friend from those years. Heather.
I purchased a 1 way ticket and left Ontario for Vancouver during the early days of September in 1993. My plan was to purchase a bus ticket to make my way home after a couple weeks. I remember the uneasy feeling as I sat on the plane alone, heading into the unknown. I landed, took my first bus ever and somehow found the address where Heather lived. A fairly big accomplishment for a county boy and his first ever trip alone to a big city!
Heather was attending UBC and had a roommate that, by sheer coincidence, I had met a couple years earlier. Her name was Lynn. Lynn and I actually had a short fling in 1990 at a conference we both attended. We were barely 16. Fast forward to 1993 and all of a sudden I wasn’t in such a hurry to return to Ontario. However, upon our reintroduction, nothing more happened. For a while.
Heather was great. She introduced me to many people, showed me around and set me off on my own to explore. A couple weeks went by and I still intended to return to Ontario. At least that’s what I told myself and others. I even purchased a Grey Hound bus ticket to Calgary to start my voyage east. I knew I was lying to myself.
One of the people she introduced me to was Persephone. It was at a hippy coffee shop on Davie St. As much as I remember meeting her that day, I didn’t think much more about it. I still had my eye on Lynn.
Eventually, I called my girlfriend from Ontario to let her know I wasn’t returning. That was the first time I had ever hurt someone. She was so upset. She had plans in her head for us that I just wasn’t ready for. After that though, I was free. But now what? What should I do? Where do I live? I also needed a job.
I had been sleeping on the couch (or futon, it was Vancouver in the 90’s after all) at Heather and Lynn’s place so things had to change. Lynn and I had also started to become close and I suppose one would have considered us a couple, or at least dating, though defining this is a tad vague. I’m not sure how this was decided, but Heather and I ended up getting our own place together while another girl whom I don’t remember moved in with Lynn. I also ended up getting a job at Earl’s washing dishes.
So after about a month in Vancouver, my life there had started in earnest. A job, a place to live and a new girlfriend. Things were nicely falling into place. It wasn’t long before everything changed.
My job was going well. I had grown up living on a farm and that type of work represented most of my resume, aside from the couple of summers working at the factory where my grandpa worked. I started washing dishes and it wasn’t long before I was promoted to salads, then appetizers, then pan cook. I embraced and dominated every new challenge. It was so much fun! I was committed to see how far I could go.
Meanwhile, living with Heather was great. We were both responsible young people. Rent was paid on time and life was easy. My friendship with Heather is incredibly platonic for a boy and girl. We had known each other since we were 13 and having a friend like her is one of the greatest gifts I have ever known. She is a totally wonderful person that would go on to do amazing things in her life! As a result, I would treat her and her friends the same way. If her friends visited I would just hang out and be a gentleman. Or as close to a gentleman as I could be.
I remember one weekend in October going with Persephone to a church camp on Vancouver Island. This wasn’t out of the ordinary for any of us as we had all grown up going to church and being involved youths along the way. Aside from listening to the Blue Jays win their second World Series on the radio, nothing else consequential happened that weekend. Several weeks later, as October gave way to November, Persephone stayed over at our apartment, as she had done before. This evening, for reasons I’m still not sure of, she slept in my bed. Again, I was none the wiser as an innocent country boy that already had a girlfriend. That evening everything changed.
This was 32 years ago so I will do my best to share what I remember. I remember laying in bed together. If I was on my back, Persephone would be on my left. We had talked for a bit but now there was no talking. We were quiet, pretending to sleep. I expected sleep to arrive but it never did. She touched me. We kissed. Our clothes disappeared and suddenly her mouth moved down my body until I couldn’t take it anymore. I still was unsure what would happen next. Then she told me. I hid my inexperience and found my way inside her. It was the first of many amazing moments I would spend with her.
We were 19. We are 51 now.
PB & J Book Club 